It looks like it was delicious once

This entry comes with required reading, so apologies for that. The good news, though, is that it's funny.

This comic has come to bear heavily on my life, as it has divided the people into two camps: Gabes and Tychos. I am a Tycho. Found food is garbage, and you will not convince me otherwise. For the longest time this argument -- whether a whole, seemingly untouched cake under a glass cover could be trusted -- had been theoretical. But fittingly enough over Thanksgiving weekend it burst into reality with a ferocity that could not have been anticipated.

I don't agree that Gabe's found cake is a treat to be enjoyed, but I understand arguments to this end. There is no explicit reason to believe that it has been tampered with in any way, but it begs so many unanswered questions! Where did it come from? Who baked it? Why did its previous owner abandon it? It's not like it's a puppy that can up and run away. My hesitation where found (but protected) cake is concerned is no doubt a product of my obsessive-compulsive nature. I will fully concede that point. But this weekend I witnessed terrors that would shock and appall you!

A friend of mine found a discarded bag of Doritos -- a favorite snack of both of ours -- hidden in a tea cart at a bar. Per our custom, she invoked the aforementioned comic. Ignoring the pleas of our companions to dispose of the bag, she dove in to the stale chips, leaving me aghast and my jaw on the floor. Sickening!

Our debate has been given new life. Where does food end and refuse begin? I staunchly believe that left-in-bar-furniture errs on the side of refuse.

Public servants just don't understand

I don't do drugs.  I never have.  I won't do drugs today, and the odds are high that I won't do drugs tomorrow.  As a matter of policy I try not to plan much farther ahead than that.  I  do, however, know a number of people who have used drugs in the past, could use drugs today, and may very well use drugs tomorrow; it will be Saturday, after all.  Traditionally I never cared that that's a manner in which they chose to spend their time and money.  They most assuredly would not ascribe any greater value to my collection of Star Wars novels.  All of this was before today.  Before I learned what really hangs in the balance.

I have to thank 1up.com by way of Penny Arcade for bringing to light the true perils connected to drug use.  After the implication that drug use would lead to breakfast fell flat, the producers of anti-drug PSAs have decided to hit young people where we live.  I don't think that I'm alone when I say that my ability to complete Prince of Persia is far more compelling than the thought of, oh I don't know... dying.

I respect what people are trying to do with regard to steering kids away from drugs, but there's a line.  Across this line the impact is lost, and the message becomes fodder for bloggers who are both handsome and awesome.  I have been a young person -- to one degree or another -- all my life.  And I know my kind well enough to say definitively that if Leonardo and company could not keep my generation from using drugs, nothing will.